


Memories are made of these

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex, spoilers for BRINY DEPTHS, spoilers for ep61
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:02:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3270950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil gets home upset after the shocks of his show. He needs Carlos to make sense of it all. Or maybe just take his mind off it for a while. Meanwhile, Earl wants back into his life and Carlos is concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Memory

Cecil made it home before allowing the day's events to touch him. He collapsed onto the sofa, shaking, and curled up in the orange glow cast by the streetlight outside, unable to get his head around the simple act of standing up, closing the curtains and going to bed. After a moment he kicked off his shoes. He could stay there until dawn woke him. There was nobody to remind him that bed was a nicer place to be. His phone rang. Cecil pulled a cushion over his head and let it ring out. 

_Hi Cecil, I am calling for both scientific and personal reasons but I guess you must be busy or asleep or our timelines are out again and you'll pick this up in a year and laugh about it with me. I'll call back real soon. I love you._

Hunger drove Cecil out of hiding. It made him think of Earl and the difficult questions Earl asked. He got up, picked up his phone and padded through to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could microwave. Cecil cursed when he listened to his voicemail then left posts on both twitter and tumblr. His phone rang a few minutes later.  
"Hi Cecil! So happy you could answer this time."  
"Carlos! I missed your call. I was--"  
"Cecil, are you crying? I'm in the lighthouse, I can see you a bit although it is too dark."  
"No. Maybe I was or maybe I will be, later. I'm okay."  
"You're not okay, Cecil, even I can see that. Tell me about it?"  
"I will, just talk to me for a while first, okay? I need to hear your voice. What did you do today? I'm putting you on speaker while I get ready for bed." 

Carlos described his day.  
"I'm working on something really exciting. Doug and Alicia are helping me with it, I made some new measuring devices to find out how radioactive different materials are. I don't have any firm conclusions yet because I have only taken a few measurements so far but it's a really fascinating way of finding out how old things are. You remember I told you about that crack, the canyon? I went down there with Alicia's dog, it is so well trained! Cecil, when I get back we should definitely get one like it only smaller. There are artefacts, Cecil, people once lived down there and they left all sorts of things behind."  
"Aren't you allergic to the dog?"  
"No, I thought I would be but I am not. That makes me happy, it is a real cute dog. I took some pictures to post to your tumblr later. Can I do that?"  
"Sure. It makes me happy to hear you say things like that, Carlos. I like it when you talk about _when you get back_ as if you weren't trap--"  
"Cecil, you promised!"  
"Sorry. I had a rough day. Urgh, the worst for ages. I need you to make sense of it. I'm going to get into bed and I don't want to take my phone to the bathroom so can you wait a few minutes?" 

Cecil placed the phone in its charger stand by Carlos's side of the bed. Carlos heard water running and he smiled at the sounds of Cecil getting ready for bed. At the click of a door closing, Carlos spoke.  
"Are you in bed yet? I'm looking at your picture but there must be a delay, you are in our kitchen now. Or it might be a different night entirely. I can't tell. Cecil?"  
"I'm here. My show should be online soon, you can listen to it and tell me what you think but I need to talk about it with you. Earl was on, you know, my friend the chef."  
"Yes, you told me about him. I would really like to meet him so that I can ask about his experience of time. He sounds very scientifically interesting!"  
"Really? Carlos, do I need to be jealous? I can't have you calling someone else _for science_ can I?"  
"Cecil! No way! How could you even think... Oh you're laughing at me again. Cecil, that was mean. I love you, only you."  
"I'm sorry, Carlos. I know. Today has put me all out of sorts and Earl was part of it. He asked me to try to remember the year I was born. Well, who remembers that! I was a baby I presume, although I don't remember a thing about it. Do you remember anything from the year you were born, Carlos? I don't remember anything much at all from those days. I remember my mother, I remember Earl and my other school friends but not impossible stuff that happened before my brain developed the capacity to form lasting memories."  
"No, Cecil I don't remember being born either. Maybe that's not what he meant? Do you have a birth certificate or something with your date of birth on it?"  
"A birth certificate? You mean there are documents to prove I was born? Duh, I would have thought my existence made that obvious. Do you have a birth certificate, Carlos?"  
"I do! It's with my other important documents that prove I'm a scientist. Cecil, it's good to hear you laugh even when I'm not at all sure what you're laughing about." 

"So. Time. You always say it isn't real or it doesn't work properly here."  
"That is science, Cecil. I have observed time speed up when I am with you and slow down almost to a stop when you kiss me. I miss that."  
"Uh me too! What about the order in which events happen? That depends on time, right?"  
"It's the other way around, Cecil, as I understand it. A happens then B happens then C, that defines the time line of events. You crack an egg, beat it and make omelette. You don't start with the omelette and make an egg. The human sensation of time passing is a fiction but events must occur in their physically logical order. What happened to you today, Cecil?"  
"I.. I got a letter! A real one, a card written on in ink. And a photograph. Carlos, it showed me fighting the antiques to save Dana. Not Intern Hector. Me. So where is Hector? Who is Hector! I tried to ask Maureen but she pretends she doesn't know what I am talking about. Carlos, I remember Hector, he was real because I remember him, right?"  
"Cecil, I have no easy answer for you. What do you remember?"  
"I was in my booth broadcasting the show. You were there, Carlos, at least tell me that was real! I sent Hector to report and he fought the antiques. He got bitten and turned into an antique. I ran and hid from him at the end. Carlos, it was Intern Hector, not me. So why do I have a photograph of me fighting and a thank you card?"  
Carlos sighed. "Cecil? I really wish I was there to hold you and tell you everything is okay. There will be an explanation for it all, I need time to think. I promise I will explain it all to you soon. Right now, you are safe in bed and I want you to close your eyes and think about something you love."  
"Mmmm. I know you'll come up with an explanation."  
"Are you thinking about me?"  
"Of course. Hmm. What are you wearing?"  
"My lab-co... Oh! I see! Umm, I'm wearing your robe because I just got out of the shower. My hair is wet and I'm towelling it dry. What are you doing?"  
Cecil giggled. "I'm pulling on the cord so that your robe falls open. You're warm and damp and you smell sooo good!" 

Carlos laughed. "I like it when you do that. I loop my towel around your neck and pull you in. I kiss you just a bit. What are you wearing tonight?"  
"Just my shorts and a vest. I kiss you back more. You've been using that cinnamon toothpaste that I like. I put my hands into your damp hair and comb through your curls."  
Carlos pulled at his sand-gritty locks. "I like it when you play with my hair. I stroke my hands from your face down to your hips and up again under your vest. You squirm a little and I move my hands around your back and pull you towards me."  
Cecil stroked both hands over his chest and rested on his hips, resisting the urge to touch himself more intimately. "Mmm I push the robe off your shoulders and it slips off, just hanging from your arms. I kiss you again. I'm keeping one hand in your hair but the other is sliding down your chest, over your stomach. I stop, waiting to see what you want to do."  
"Aah, I'm still kissing you when I pull you into me and we grind together. I'm getting hard, my hands are on your ass and I'm rocking us together because it feels so good."  
"Mm-hmm. I push away and take off my vest and my shorts. You drop the robe. We look at each other for a few seconds. You are beautiful."  
"I can't take my eyes off you. I pick you up and put you on the bed, watching your face tell me what you want me to do. I kiss you from your neck down to your stomach."  
"I moan a little because I want you so much. I push my fingers through your hair and make a fist. Mmm you like that, I know you do. I hold your head still, your mouth just above me, I can feel your breath on me. It's almost enough."  
"I lick and blow on your cock to make you shudder at the heat and chill. I wrap one hand around your cock and my other hand around my own. I open my lips and pull the tip of your cock into my mouth. I lick around the head while you hold me still."  
"Uh... you... oh fuck... "  
"I move faster, swirling my tongue and sliding my hand up and down your shaft. You try to thrust into me and I let you. I let you use me, fuck me. I want you to come in me, Cecil."  
"Aaahaha I think I just did. Mmmm. I lie still for a moment then I notice you are lying on your side, stroking yourself. I put my hand over yours and tell you to stop. I scoot down the bed and push you onto your back, push your legs open and lick that spot between them, you know the one that makes you gasp? Mmm I stay there for a few seconds. Can you feel that?"  
"Fuck, yes. You lick over my balls to my cock and... aah... kiss up the shaft to the head."  
"I wrap my lips around it and hold your hips still as I move my head slowly at first, up and down, getting faster as I feel you getting closer--"  
"I start to come--"  
"and I slow down, firm but gentle to match your spasms and moans as you try desperately to thrust up but I have you pinned down."  
"Then we lie together, everything else forgotten except how much you love me and--"  
"and how much you love me." 

"Cecil? Are you still awake?"  
"Mm-hmm. Relaxed."  
"I have a theory if you want to hear it?"  
"Mmm. Yes, but not right now unless you think I'm in danger."  
Carlos thought about it. "Cecil, you are never completely safe but I think this can wait. If it gets you upset maybe I can help you relax again?"  
Cecil laughed. "Go on, talk science to me. You know I'm really into science these days."  
"Hah! Neat. Okay, I think you did save Dana by fighting the antiques. There's evidence and it's the sort of thing you would do, you're a hero, you know that? Even if you can't remember. For some reason your brain doesn't want you to remember the fight. Maybe it was so frightening and dangerous that your consciousness rejected it and substituted someone else, someone safe. Someone who couldn't die because they were not real."  
"Huh. Are you saying that I really am a hero and no interns were harmed during the broadcast of my show?"  
"Yes, that is what I am saying. Scientifically speaking, although I am not a psychologist." 

They chatted for a few more minutes, plans for the next day, opportunities to call, science and news stories until Carlos heard Cecil's responses pause and slur. Carlos kept talking until he heard Cecil breathing slowly and evenly. He said a quiet _goodnight Cecil, I love you_ and ended the call.  
Carlos thought and frowned for a few minutes. He searched the internet and found the number he needed. He clicked it and it dialled.  
"Hi, My name is Carlos Scientist. I want to speak to your chef, Mr Earl Harlan. Yes, I know he is busy. Tell him it concerns a mutual friend and I won't give up until we have spoken. Yes, I'll wait as long as it takes." 


	2. What friends are for.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos calls Earl.

"Hi, this is Earl Harlan."  
"Um, hello, my name is Carlos and I am a scientist--"  
Earl's voice raised in both pitch and volume. "Carlos? _THE_ Carlos Scientist?"  
"Scientifically speaking, that is who I am."  
"Cecil's Carlos?"  
"I am romantically attached to Cecil and have been for an indeterminable period of time, yes. I suppose that might make people perceive me as _belonging_ to Cecil although no person truly belongs--"  
"Trapped-in-the-otherworldly-desert-hellscape Carlos?"  
Carlos sighed, audible despite the hissy phone line. "I am here doing important scientific work, Mr Harlan."  
Earl's voice dropped a little, conspiratorial. "Does Cecil know you're calling me?" 

Carlos paused.  
"No."  
"Oh. But you are calling about Cecil, aren't you?"  
"That is one topic upon which I would like us to converse."  
"Uh- _huh."_  
Carlos thought he could hear Earl tapping his teeth.  
"Mr Harlan--"  
"Call me Earl. We never met but we do have a couple of things in common." 

"Oh?" Carlos felt his neck prickle. "What do you perceive to be our shared interests?"  
"Well, there's Cecil, obviously. Our mutual friend."  
"Your friend, my boyfriend."  
"Yes, yes. Also, I was dragged out of Night Vale to... somewhere that wasn't Night Vale. I don't know where I was or for how long. You have been shut out--"  
"Earl, I am here in this scientifically interesting place to do important research. I will find a way to travel between here and Night Vale."  
"Uh-huh. Can I ask you something, Carlos?"  
"I guess."  
"Why did you call me tonight?" 

Carlos was quiet for a few seconds.  
“I am concerned about Cecil. He is afraid because he can’t remember things he has done.”  
“Cecil’s upset? Should I go round?”  
“No! No don’t do that. Assuming our timelines have not altered, he was asleep at the end of our call an hour ago.”  
Earl grinned down the phone. “Oh. Okay, but if you ever need someone to go comfort him, remember we are old friends. I would be happy to do that.”  
“Thank you for offering, but it is not necessary. In fact, I would prefer that you did not see him if you plan on upsetting him."  
"Did I upset Cecil? He was fine when I left the booth this evening. There's not a lot of space in there, it was quite a squeeze."  
"I know, I have been there before. Earl, you asked him if he could remember the year he was born."  
"Yes, he avoided the question completely."  
"He got upset later because he can't remember. It's not fair to ask questions that are impossible for him."  
"So he _is_ upset. I should go round and apologise."  
"No. If you do, you will remind him that he has missing memories."  
"Don't you want him to face his fear and remember?"  
"Not without me there to look after him."  
"When will that happen, Carlos?" 

Carlos did not reply. He sat on the sand and squeezed his eyes shut.  
"Carlos?"  
"I am still here."  
"That's what I mean. You're still there. Do you think you're the only one who cares about Cecil?"  
"No, I am glad he has friends!"  
"Do you want me to be a good friend to him?"  
"Of course I do--"  
"If I think he needs a shoulder to cry on, I will be there for him because you can't." 

Carlos's silence was painful. Earl cursed to himself.  
"Carlos? I'm Cecil's friend. We've known each other since we were kids, even if he can't remember."  
"I know that. It's just..."  
"I know. He misses you terribly too." 

"Carlos? I have to go."  
"Uh, okay. Earl, can I call you again? I want to ask about your time out of Night Vale. Y'know, science."  
"Oh? Do you want my home number instead of calling the restaurant?"  
"Yes, thank you."  
Earl rattled out a number and Carlos wrote it down, said goodbye and ended the call. Earl put the receiver back in its cradle, frowned at it and tapped his fingers on the countertop. After a moment he got his phone out and sent a text.  
 _Hi Cecil, thanks for having me on your show again. Want to get coffee later this week? You can talk about Carlos all you want."_  
Earl smiled. It was an innocent enough start. 


	3. Not a date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl and Cecil meet for coffee, go bowling and Earl has a surprise for Cecil.

Earl waited, Cecil was ten minutes late. He flustered in, apologising. Earl smiled.  
"I have not been here long, Cecil. You sit, I'll get your favourite."  
"My favourite?"  
"Trust me."  
Earl grinned at Cecil and went up to the counter. He returned five minutes later with something frothy.  
"Uh, thanks Earl. I got used to having plain filter so this is...." Cecil took a sip and almost suppressed his expression, "...unusually sweet."  
"It was your favourite before, you always used to get a cardamom latte with extra cream. You said it tasted like summer."  
"Yeah. I guess tastes change."  
"Oh. Want me to get you something else?"  
Cecil waved a hand at Earl. "No, no this is fine. I'll get used to my old habits."  
"I hope you do."  
"So did you want to talk about the recipe you're going to share next time you're on my show?"  
"We could talk about that. Or you could tell me about Carlos. Did he tell you he called me?"  
"Carlos called you? He did say he wanted to talk to you about your, umm, time away. I'm surprised he called you, he hates using the telephone. It took him months to call me after I gave him my number."  
"Huh. I think he wants me to keep a very professional distance from you."  
"Oh? Did he say that? Doesn't sound like Carlos at all." 

Earl leaned forwards to match Cecil's posture. He sipped at his coffee.  
"He didn't say it directly. He dropped a lot of hints."  
Cecil laughed and sat back. "Oh you have definitely got the wrong message. Carlos doesn't understand the concept of hinting. If he wants something he says it. He is a _scientist."_  
Earl frowned and sat back too. "You think he won't mind you meeting me here?"  
"Of course not! It's not a date, we're friends. He has friends too, people I have never met and he tells me about them."  
"So if he calls me again it's okay to talk about meeting you?"  
"Of course, Earl. We have separate lives, Carlos and I. He expects me to get on with my life."  
"Mmm. How is that working out for you, Cecil?" 

Cecil sipped at his drink again and put it down.  
"Okay I guess, I felt crushed for so long but I'm over the worst. He calls almost every day and made me promise to quit drinking."  
"So you are getting on with your life?"  
"I have not picked up everything I used to do before I met Carlos. There are some things... that are better not done."  
"Not picked up."  
"Mmm."  
"Do you remember we used to go bowling?"  
"I remember you used to suck!" 

Earl laughed. "I did a bit. We should do that."  
Cecil grinned. "Yes. If Josie came too we could put a team together."  
"We could ask, isn't she real busy?" Earl sighed. "I need to practise. Maybe you could help me with a couple of warm up games one day next week? The restaurant is closed on Monday, we could go before it got busy."  
"Sure, why not. It'll be fun. Carlos will be happy that I'm going out instead of sitting around at home or making extra work for myself at the radio station."  
Earl smiled. "I bet he will be so pleased."  
They agreed to meet at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley on Monday afternoon. Cecil suggested a time, Earl suggested a later time and they agreed before leaving the diner. 

Carlos called Cecil later the same night. Cecil described meting Earl for coffee and arranging to go bowling.  
"That's great, Cecil, I want you to reconnect with your friends. Only..."  
"Only what, Carlos?"  
Carlos sighed. "It's probably nothing. You say I'm not good at picking up on people's feelings but I think Earl might want to get between us. I know I trust you, but I don't trust Earl."  
"Carlos! Earl is a friend. That's all."  
"Does he know that's all he is?"  
"Are we going to have a row because you're jealous?"  
"No! Of course not Cecil. I'm sorry, he's your friend and if you trust him I guess I should too."  
"When we parted this afternoon we didn't even shake hands. Carlos, there's no way Earl is ever going to replace you. Now talk science to me. I'm _really_ into science tonight."  
Cecil gave Carlos reason to forget all about Earl. 

Monday arrived. Earl was every bit as bad at bowling as Cecil remembered. Earl laughed at himself and Cecil demonstrated technique, making Earl practise over and over until he could at least guarantee to hit something. Cecil guided Earl's posture, a light touch on his shoulders and hips to adjust his stance and help his arm pendulum the bowling ball down the centre of the lane. "Carlos is really good at this. He says _Oh Cecil it's just physics!_ "  
Earl smiled. "You two must have made a great team."  
"Oh, no, he bowled with the scientists, I was in Josie's team. It made game nights interesting sometimes."  
"Oh? Who usually won?"  
Cecil grinned. "We had a forfeit system so we both won. Play for real this time?"  
Earl chose a bowling ball as Cecil filled in their names on the electronic display. Cecil watched Earl bowl twice and nodded a tight-lipped, approving smile.  
"Mmm, much better. You're not throwing it off to the side any more."  
Earl stood to watch Cecil. Cecil took a short run up, swung his arm and swore.  
"Ugh, a spare. I hate those. Josie has a way of dealing with them but she couldn't be here."  
Earl raised his eyebrows. "You asked her?"  
"Mm-hmm."  
Earl frowned as Cecil took his second run-up. 

The session had to end. Earl thanked Cecil for coaching him and asked if he could have another session same time the following week.  
"...and as thanks, can I make you dinner after?"  
"I'd like that. Usually I microwave something."  
Earl laughed. "Did Carlos do all the cooking?"  
"We ate out a lot. He would pick me up after my show and we'd go somewhere."  
"Let me buy you tacos tonight?"  
Cecil sighed. "I would, but I have to go home and get ready for my show."  
"Oh I didn't realise you would be working tonight. Can I pick you up after your show instead?" 

A few hours later, Cecil frowned as he waited for Earl. _I don't know why I agreed,_ he had told Khoshekh. _If he's a minute late I can just go home and text my apologies._ Khoshekh had been as much help as usual.  
Earl arrived by car just as Cecil made up his mind to leave. He wound the window down. "Hello, sorry I'm late. I was setting something up, a surprise. I thought we shouldn't go out for food, that was Carlos's thing. Get in?"  
"Where are we going?"  
"It won't be a surprise if I tell you!" Earl sighed and shrugged. "You don't have to come if I'm making you uncomfortable. It's okay."  
Cecil hesitated before he got into the passenger seat. "Well if you've gone to the trouble of doing something for me, I guess I should see what it is."  
Earl grinned. "Great! It's not far." He drove off with Cecil frowning a little and biting at his bottom lip. 

Carlos called later.  
"Hi Cecil!"  
"Carlos! Good to hear your voice again. I missed you today."  
"I missed you too."  
"I went bowling with Earl, urgh he sucks, I had to correct his posture like eight times. It made me think of you, when we used to end up playing against each other."  
Carlos laughed. "That was fun. Remember my attempts to distract you?"  
"Hah! Yes. Whispering _let me polish your balls for you_ and _can you fit your thumb and two fingers into any other h--"_  
"Enough! That was pretty awful."  
"As bad as _oh look, Cecil, the pins didn't all go down. Know what's going to go down--"_  
"Stop! Please, stop." Carlos giggled. "Tell me about bowling with Earl."  
"There's nothing much to tell. I gave him some pointers on technique and agreed to play again next week. It was fun."  
"I'm glad you have a friend, Cecil."  
"I know. Uh, he invited me out after my show. We were supposed to go for tacos or something but he said he had a surprise for me."  
"O-o-oh?"  
"Yeah, he drove me out to the desert and we had a campfire cook-out. It was nice..."  
"But? Cecil, you didn't say it but I think I detected a _but._ I am a scientist and a scientist is always observant." 

Cecil sighed. "But I think you might have been right, at least partly right. I don't know about him wanting to _get between_ us. I mean that's not gonna happen. But I think he's... Oh I don't know. Maybe I have just forgotten what having a close friend feels like. There's nothing unusual in what we did, we used to go out and build campfires and drink orange milk when we were teenagers."  
"You think he's _what_ Cecil?"  
"Ah it's nothing. He has been through a lot. Maybe he needs a friend too, and I know you want to ask about his experiences. I will see him again next week, I can ask about it."  
"I do want to know, for purely scientific reasons. If he remembers anything at all about how he got back it could be useful. You know, for us."  
"Uh, he says he wants to make me dinner."  
"Oh. Um. He is a chef, I bet it will be something nicer than I ma... something nice."  
"You don't mind?"  
"Cecil, you don't need my approval to do anything. Anything at all. I love you."  
"I love you too!"  
"I know. I don't want to do anything to change that."  
"Carlos, are you concerned about Earl?"  
Carlos was quiet for a few seconds. "Maybe a little. He's there and I'm not but I don't make rules for you. And if he likes you... I can hardly blame him for that."  
"I don't like him the way I like you."  
"Then I'm not worried. Want to hear about some science?"  
"That would be neat!" 

Carlos hung up after describing his day's science work. Cecil sighed and put his phone on charge. There was a message from Earl.  
 _Hi, forgive me?_  
 _You know I love Carlos._  
 _I know and I'm sorry. Did you tell him I kissed you?_  
 _No. I will tell him next time he calls. It didn't come up._  
 _Can we still go bowling?_  
 _Yes_  
 _Carlos is okay with that?_  
 _He doesn't tell me what I can and cannot do._  
 _Maybe you shouldn't tell him. I did a stupid thing._  
 _Please don't do it again._  
 _I won't. Goodnight._  
Earl put his phone down. It rang almost immediately and his heart leapt. He snatched it up and groaned as he read the caller ID. After a couple of seconds he smiled and answered.  
"Hi Carlos. I assume Cecil told you?" 


	4. Lies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl gives Carlos his side of the story.

"Hi Earl, sorry it is late. I called Cecil, he told me about your surprise. That was a real nice thing to do for him. I'm glad you avoided asking about his memory gaps."  
"Oh? Did he tell you everything about our evening?"  
"No, he doesn't tell me everything and I don't expect him to."  
"We kissed. By the firelight. It was nice."  
"Oh?" Carlos bit his lip hard and clenched his free fist. "I can hardly blame you for that. He is... If I had been there I would have kissed him."  
"You're not mad at him? Or at me?"  
"Scientifically speaking I am aware of a slight elevation in my heart rate and my breathing rate has increased. I can feel my stomach churning a little. I think I would like to engage in a pointless act of violence against you, maybe... punching something would feel good for a moment, but this is all just a physical response to a perceived threat. An adrenaline surge. Cecil says he loves me and he wants you to be a friend. I know him. Don't you?"  
Earl tapped his teeth and Carlos grimaced.  
"Huh. You don't think I stand a chance with him?"  
"I don't know, but I certainly will not drive him away from me with jealousy and rules about what to do and what not to do. What he does is up to him. Actually this was not intended as a personal call, I called to ask you about your experiences after the eternal scout ceremony."  
"Oh. It's late, I need time to get my thoughts about that in order. Can you call me back tomorrow?"  
"I can call you back. Probably tomorrow, although the time is not guaranteed. Time here and time there run differently."  
"Okay. Goodnight then."  
"Goodnight, Earl."  
Carlos put his phone away safely, closed his eyes and breathed deep, opened them again and punched the sand, letting out a yell at the pain in his fist. At least it gave something physical to distract him. 

Earl sighed. He had lied to Carlos and it hadn't worked to rile him. He had lied for nothing. Earl thought about that kiss, Cecil sitting in the firelight, face glowing with orange-yellow flickering and the light of his own smile. Earl had not planned it. He had seized the moment, leaned over and kissed Cecil. It had been nice for that fraction of a second before Cecil had realised what was happening, pushed him away and asked to be taken home. It wasn't the fire-stoked kiss he hoped for at all. 

Cecil lay awake overthinking the day. Eventually it was close enough to morning that he might as well get up. He peered, bleary-eyed, at his phone. Three messages.  
The first from Carlos: _Called Earl, he said you kissed_  
The second from Earl: _Told Carlos. He was angry._  
The third from Carlos: _If you wanted to I'd understand but a scientist likes to have all relevant data before forming conclusions._  
Cecil smiled and shook his head at the last message.  
 _I love you. Call me and I will provide all the data you need x_  
Cecil's phone rang while he was making coffee. He snatched it up.  
"Carlos?"  
"Uh, good morning Cecil--"  
"Oh! Earl." 

"Is this a bad time?"  
"Kinda, I'm waiting for Carlos to call. He sent me a couple of texts last night. I want to keep my phone free."  
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can call me after Carlos calls, maybe? Although I will be in the kitchen so I might not be able to talk. Or we could meet for coffee? In an hour?"  
"Um, okay I guess. Gotta go, bye."  
Cecil frowned at his phone, poured his coffee and headed for a shower while it cooled. He kept his phone within reach but it remained disappointingly silent. Standing under hot water helped clear the fog from his mind. 

Sixty-six minutes later, Cecil sat opposite Earl and stared at the drink in front of him.  
"Thanks, but plain filter would have been fine, Earl."  
"Is Carlos mad at you?"  
Cecil shook his head. "No, he said he is not drawing any conclusions based on the data he has."  
Earl thought for a moment. "Oh."  
"Earl, what are you trying to do?"  
"What do you mean?"  
Cecil sighed. "Was I an idiot before you got dragged away by the weird mute children? Because--"  
"No! No of course not."  
"Then tell me what you are trying to do. Carlos doesn't jump to conclusions but I frequently do. Are you hoping we will break up?"  
"No! You made it clear you are with Carlos. I respect that. I'm disappointed because I always liked you and hoped we could be more than friends one day, but if it's not what you want I'll stay away from you. I really am sorry. I got caught up in the moment."  
"Hmm--"  
"Cecil, I apologised three times. I can't do anything more. I'll just go if we can't be friends." Earl got up. Cecil rolled his eyes.  
"Earl... urgh. See you Monday."  
Earl waved at Cecil without turning round to reveal his smirk. Behind him, Cecil pushed his frothy beverage away and waved to the waitress to order something he could drink. 

Carlos called two days later.  
"Cecil! I am so happy I got through at last. Time has been extra weird recently. I think I got your reply before I sent you those texts, it took me a while to figure out what I must have said to get that reply. I love you too. You said you had more data for me."  
"Carlos, I am so glad you called at last! I was concerned that... it doesn't matter now. You called and you said _I love you_ and that always helps."  
Carlos paused to get his voice under control. "Tell me what happened, Cecil. I need to hear it from you."  
"Earl kissed me. I pushed him off and said I wanted to come home. He drove me back. That's what happened."  
"Oh."  
"Carlos?"  
"That makes a lot more sense. Earl told me _we kissed_ and I was angry that you hadn't said anything about it, I thought you were hiding it for a reason, maybe you wanted to end things and didn't know how. But then I remembered that I don't trust Earl but I do trust you and I was okay again after my knuckles healed up. Oh, by the way, this place has super healing powers. I punched the sand until my knuckles bled but they were completely fine in a couple days."  
"What! I do _not_ want to break up with you! Carlos, you are the love of my life! I know we are apart and that's hard, real hard sometimes. But we are okay, aren't we?"  
"Yes! We are apart but it's no worse than being stuck in different cities because of our work. I'm working on a way for you to visit and I think Earl can help. I don't know if he _will_ help, if he knows it will bring us together."  
"I confronted Earl today. He offered to stay away from me if I wanted."  
"What do you want?"  
"Earl was my best friend once. Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion. He is fun to be around and if he knows anything that might help us meet up in person that would be--"  
"Neat?"  
Cecil laughed. "So neat. So scientifically neat. Ah I have to go to work. Call me again later?"  
After goodbyes and loveyous, Cecil closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them as he remembered something he had admitted only to himself. When Earl kissed him, there had been just an instant where he could have let it happen. 


	5. Offers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos makes an offer. Will Cecil take advantage of it?

"You suck less this week."  
"Gee, thanks Cecil!"  
Cecil laughed. "Play for real?"  
"Sure. Don't humiliate me too much."  
"Earl, I know you play to win."  
"I might lose but I’ll put up a fight. Still okay for dinner later?"  
"Yeah."  
"Great. I'll pick you up after your show. Let’s play." 

\-----------------

Earl was already waiting by the kerb when Cecil emerged from the station building. Cecil opened the car door and got in.  
"Good show tonight."  
"Oh? You listened?"  
"Of course I did, I always listened to your show before. I have plenty of ideas for cooking stuff, if you want to talk about it later."  
"Sure, that would be ne... nice."  
Earl laughed. "You still trying to break that old habit of calling everything _neat?"_  
Cecil smiled but did not reply. 

Earl invited Cecil into his home. "The boy's asleep upstairs, I'll check on him. Go sit down."  
After a few minutes, Earl reappeared. "Join me in the kitchen?"  
Cecil followed and sat at the table. Earl poured two glasses of wine, set one in front of Cecil and took ingredients out of the refrigerator. Cecil watched Earl work.  
"You really enjoy cooking."  
"Yes, I do. This doesn't take long. The skill is in the preparation and I did what I could in advance."  
"You cook the way Carlos does science. I love to watch him work. Can I help?"  
"Want to chop? Remember your knife skills badge?"  
Cecil frowned and shook his head. "No. I don't remember that at all!" 

Earl grinned. "Okay, wash your hands, stand here and I'll show you."  
He demonstrated slowly, handed the knife to Cecil and stood aside. Cecil gripped the knife handle and stabbed at the pepper on the chopping board. Earl laughed.  
"You really have forgotten all that knife skills work we did together! Let me help you."  
Earl put his hand over Cecil's on the knife and stood behind him, looking over his shoulder. He looped his other arm around Cecil, lifting Cecil's free hand and placing it on the other end of the pepper. Cecil stiffened.  
"Relax, you're so tense! Like you told me at the bowling alley, get into the right position and everything else just slides into place."  
Cecil closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. His shoulders dropped and Earl guided his movements. Once finished, they stood for three long seconds without moving before Earl released Cecil's hands and stepped back.  
"Done. Go sit down, have some pinot grigio, this only takes a couple of minutes now." 

Cecil watched as Earl heated oil until it was smoking, threw everything in together, stirred and shook the pan then tipped it out into two bowls. Cecil crunched without pausing for conversation. Earl watched and smiled.  
"You like it?"  
"Mm-hmm!"  
"When is the last time you ate home cooked food?"  
"Carlos made pasta the night before he went into the house that did not exist."  
"He can cook?"  
"He can cook pasta, but he’s usually so busy being a scientist."  
"Oh." Earl contemplated responses, rejected _He doesn't look after you properly, does he?_ and _If it was me, I'd make time to cook for you._ He settled on, "I could teach you some recipes then you could cook for him sometimes when he gets home." 

Cecil smiled, raised eyebrows and wide eyes. "Would you? That would be so neat!"  
Earl laughed. "I want to. I hate thinking of you waiting for the _bing_ that says dinner's ready. I could come round one morning, we could choose a recipe and cook lunch together?"  
“Mmm, and eat. I forgot what proper food tastes like.”  
“Great. How’s tomorrow for you? I can come round after I drop the boy off, but I have to be at the restaurant by two.”  
“Uh? I don’t know, I was planning to go to the station. Hey I could interview you and record it, that counts as work, right?”  
“Uh-huh, sounds good to me. Ten?”  
“Yeah. I better go, I hope Carlos will call later and I want to be at home.”  
“I’ll drive you. The boy’s fast asleep, he’ll be okay for a while.”  
"He's very quiet."  
"He doesn't talk." 

Cecil was quiet on the way home as Earl enthused about different recipes he might like to try. They pulled up at the kerb outside Cecil’s apartment. Cecil opened the car door and got halfway out, but turned back to Earl. “When you talk about cooking you remind me of Carlos when he talks about science. I miss his enthusiasm. Thanks for the ride home. See you at ten tomorrow.” Cecil closed the car door. Earl watched until Cecil entered his building, shook his head and sighed.  
“It’s a date.” 

“Hi Carlos! I hoped you’d call tonight. How was your day?”  
“Hi Cecil! I had a good day. I am still studying the tiny skeletons I found. They are so fascinating! How was your day?”  
“Uh, good I think. I went bowling with Earl, did my show then Earl picked me up and made dinner. It was nice to have something cooked for me.”  
“Did he try to kiss you again?”  
“No, at one point I thought… no he didn’t. He offered to teach me to cook so that I can cook for you when you come home.”  
“We manage okay, don’t we?”  
“Yes, but he made this amazing thing with crunchy vegetables and cashews. I think you’d really love it.”  
“That does sound nice, I miss the idea of food. I never get hungry here and I can’t remember the last thing I ate. All I can taste is sand. Cecil? Uh…”  
“Ca-arlos?”  
“If Earl does come on to you? What will you do?”  
“Oh! I… umm. Well. I will remind him that I am with you.”  
“I love you.”  
“I know, I love you too.”  
“I want you to be happy, I’d understand, but I’d need to know what was really happening with you.”  
“Carlos, what are you trying to tell me?”  
“Cecil, if you wanted to… ah… take some kind of comfort from Earl’s company, I’d understand. But I’d want to hear about it only from you and only if you wanted to tell me. I couldn’t bear to hear him talk about you like that.”  
“Carlos, I have no intention of being anything more than friends with Earl!”  
“I know, I know Cecil. But if anything unexpected happens, if you do anything more, I don’t want you to feel bad about it. Stuff happens. I understand. Just… Cecil...”  
“Just what, Carlos?”  
“Please don’t fall in love with anyone who is not a scientist currently working away from home.” 

Earl was right on time next day. Cecil made coffee while Earl dumped shopping bags on the floor, took out a recipe book and flicked to the first bookmarked page. They sat in Cecil and Carlos’s little kitchen and talked about food.  
“These are all easy recipes, Cecil, there’s a stir fry that takes minutes and a pot roast that takes as long as you need it to and—“  
“You remember things I don’t remember. Things about me.”  
Earl stared at the wall.  
“Yes.”  
“Things about me, with you?”  
“Yes.”  
Cecil frowned and flicked through the recipe book.  
“The stir fry you made last night was nice. Can we make that?” 

Cecil set up his mobile recording system. Earl stood patiently as Cecil clipped a microphone to his shirt and another to his own then fiddled with a box of electronics on the table.  
"Carlos set this up for me, it is way better than the old portable microphone I used to have." The machine emitted a long beep. "It's recording now. We can talk normally and I can edit it later and add introductions and links."  
"Oh? Right."  
"Earl, what we are going to make today?"  
"It's a stir fry, Cecil."  
"And what is the secret to a good stir fry?"  
"No secret, preparation is everything. And a pan with a good bottom. You do have a nice heavy one, don't you Cecil?"  
Cecil held up a pan. Earl smiled. "Oh you do, and it has a lovely, rounded shape." 

Cecil and Earl chatted as they prepared vegetables. Cecil asked questions at rare moments when Earl went too fast or stopped talking but Earl was happy to explain what they were doing.  
"... that's good, Cecil, you're doing so much better with your hands today. Not fumbling like last night when I had to hold on to you. Keep a steady rhythm there, speed up if you feel confident. Keep your grip firm but not too tight. Mmm yes, that's perfect."  
“… I found it so hard yesterday. It kept slipping out of my hand.”  
"... Careful, Cecil, you're smoking hot there! I know I said I wanted it hot but safety is important."  
"... add a little spice and it'll explode in your mouth. Uh, the flavour. In your... uh-huh."  
"... Earl, would you recommend this for someone's first time?"  
"... Mmm yes, it's a great introduction to using your equipment in the kitchen."  
"... Oh! Earl, it's a little too hot for me, I'll have to blow on it."  
“… Wow! That is the best thing I’ve put in my mouth since before Carlos went through that old oak door!”  
Earl removed his microphone. He reached out to remove Cecil's too but Cecil was already hunched over the electronics. The box beeped twice quickly.  
"Okay, it's off now. Nobody wants to experience the sounds of us eating lunch."  
Earl grinned. “I’d love to listen to the edited version. Will it take you a long time?”  
“I should have it in a couple of days. Do you want to come round to hear it before I use it on my show?” 

On Wednesday night, Earl pressed the button next to _Palmer & Scientist_ right on time. The door buzzed open almost immediately and he bounded upstairs to Cecil’s apartment. Cecil opened the door as he arrived.  
“Hi, come in. It's ready for you to hear.”  
“I have been looking forward to it. I brought this.” Earl handed Cecil a bottle of wine. “It’s the restaurant house red, goes well with—“  
Earl was interrupted by a _bing_ from the kitchen. “Cecil, are you microwaving something in a plastic tray for dinner?”  
Cecil looked everywhere except at Earl. “I can’t make stir fry every night, Earl, you will have to teach me another recipe soon. Want some chili with rice and beans?”  
“Sure. How bad can it be?”  
Cecil took the plastic tray out of the microwave with difficulty and tried to serve two portions into bowls. “Urgh, I hate these trays, they go floppy when they’re hot and spill. Usually I just eat it out of the tray.”  
“Oh? We can do that. I don’t mind.”  
“Really?” Cecil put the tray on the table and brought two forks and two glasses. Earl poured wine. They sat opposite each other. Cecil took out his phone. “I saved the final version here. Ready?” Earl smiled and nodded. Cecil tapped _play_ and grinned. Earl listened and forgot about dinner. 

“Umm, Cecil? I’m not sure this is suitable for your show.” Earl sat with his face hidden behind his hands. Cecil suppressed a snort.  
“Really, Earl? Why not?”  
“Some of the things we said might be open to misinterpretation.” Earl peered out from between his fingers. Cecil looked into Earl’s eyes, face a well-practiced mask of innocence.  
“No way, really? We are clearly talking about food and food preparation—” _… oh! it’s too hot and salty for me to swallow…_ “What else could we possibly be talking about?”  
“Cecil, please don’t use this on your show, if anyone at work hears it I will lose all respect and control of my kitchen.” Earl hid his face again. Cecil’s giggling burst through his calm façade. Earl joined in, shaking his head. “You got me. I should have known. Play the real version!” 

They finished eating, chatted about food and drank wine for a while. Cecil tried to hide a yawn. Earl pushed a hand through his hair and rubbed his neck. He stood up.  
"I should go, it’s pretty late. Got to let the babysitter go home."  
"Okay. See you Monday?" Cecil followed Earl to the door.  
“Yeah.” Earl turned, brushed a strand of hair from Cecil's cheek with one finger and kissed him, a brief, dry push of his lips on Cecil's. Cecil put a hand on Earl’s arm. Earl stepped back and bumped against the wall behind him.  
"Do I need to apologise?"  
"No."  
"I kissed you. Last time you were not happy about it."  
Cecil put one hand on Earl’s shoulder, leaned forwards and touched his lips against Earl’s. He pulled back and shrugged. "This time I kissed you too."  
"Mmm, you did. What will you tell Carlos?"  
"The truth.”  
"Oh?"  
"Carlos and I discussed what might happen with us. Whatever it is, when he comes home we'll deal with it. It is complicated, but Carlos said existence is the most complicated and exciting thing of all."  
"Carlos is okay with this?"  
Cecil frowned. "Not exactly, he understands and he won't ask.”  
"You love him a lot."  
"More than I thought possible."  
"More than you used to lo-- I mean, what do we have? Do we even have something?"  
"Carlos is the love of my life, that won't change. If you can't accept that, then we have nothing."  
Earl sighed. "I have to go. Can we talk about this properly sometime?" Cecil nodded. Earl stroked Cecil's hair back from his face and kissed him again before leaving. Cecil waited with his hand on the door until he heard Earl's car rev and drive away. 

\-----------------

"Hi Carlos! So good to hear from you. Have you been busy? It has been almost a week, I was worried."  
"I'm sorry Cecil, it has only been a day or so for me. Our time lines must have drifted. Also I have been busy doing science. It got dark and Alisha helped me to understand the constellations here. I wish you could see them Cecil, it's so beautiful."  
"Mmm I would like that. Are you any closer to finding a way for me to visit?"  
"I think I am! That makes me happy, I can't wait to see you. I called Earl and he gave me some helpful information about his return, although he didn't remember too many of the details."  
"Oh? Did he say anything else?"  
"He said he almost beat you at bowling this week and he's teaching you to make chili at the weekend."  
"Hah! He's not even close to winning, but he is improving. As is my cooking. Anything else?"  
"No, and I won't ask."  
"I told him I love you and he can't change that. We had a long talk after my Monday show. I said I liked him and if he wanted we could be a little more than friends, but I couldn't love him like I love you and there's stuff I just won't do with anyone who isn't you."  
"Oh?"  
"Mmm. Carlos, I can't even kiss anyone who isn't you. Not properly. I don't want to. I miss physical contact, but it's _your_ touch I miss. I can't replace it. I don't even want to."  
Cecil waited for a reply.  
"Carlos? Are you okay? I can hear you but I can't make out any words."  
"Cecil, for the first time in weeks I can tell you truthfully that I'm fine." 


End file.
